


miserable at best

by orphan_account



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, Oblivious Luke, Platonic Cuddling, Sad Ashton, Song Lyrics, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-26
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 21:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2204292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I've never been so happy and so heartbroken at the same time. it's like he enjoys seeing me upset." -Ashton Irwin</p>
            </blockquote>





	miserable at best

Ashton's POV

 

 

"why the fuck are you so cute?"

the question catches me off guard, and I turn to the youngest member of our band to make sure I didn't misinterpret him.

"huh?" I ask softly.

"I said: why. the fuck. are you so cute?" he repeats, his eyebrow quirked in question.

"um. genetics?" I answer, unsure of what else to say because I'm both confused and flattered by the weird question. I'm almost positive my cheeks have turned some embarrassing shade of red, so I turn my attention to my phone and pretend to check Twitter.

luke chuckles. "well, you need to stop being so cute. it makes it hard for me to take you seriously or stay mad at you when you've got those deep dimples and that adorable pout and those fucking eyes --"

and I can't help myself... I giggle.

"--shit and your giggle god dammit!" he huffs.

"sorry?" I reply, my chest feeling light and my heart fluttering in my chest.

luke thinks I'm cute, and I honestly can't contain myself right now. I feel like a 12 year old girl finding out my crush likes me. I know it's stupid, luke is my best friend and band mate, but that doesn't stop how I feel about him. and right now, as we sit on the couch of the band's flat, it feels like he might like me back.

suddenly, luke is standing up. "that's acacia, she wants me over. I'll see ya later, ash. and do me a favor? don't get any cuter while I'm gone."

and with that, luke leaves the apartment to go have sex with a girl that he's known for all of 3 weeks, and I'm left to wallow in my pit of self-pity.

why doesn't luke see that I'm head over heels, completely mad for him? it hurts to see him leave, knowing he's gonna go kiss  _her_  and make love to  _her_  when I'm right here and practically begging for him. not sexually, I'm not that desperate, but I just want him to know what he means to me and how much I honestly love him.

"ash, are you okay?" michael's voice asks from the staircase, soft and caring.

and that's what breaks me.

"no, michael. no, I'm not okay," I answer as tears start to pour down my cheeks. within seconds, michael has his arms around my waist and my head on his chest. "I I know I'm lucky to have him in my life, I could easily not have luke around me. he could hate me and never talk to me. so honestly, I'm confused about this all. I've never been so happy and so heartbroken at the same time. it's like he enjoys seeing me upset."

michael holds my body close to his and whispers something so sweet that I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't been there myself.

"ashton, if luke doesn't see how amazing you are, how much of an awesome fucking catch you are, then I'm sorry but he doesn't deserve you. if he truly is blind to the fantastic guy that he has in front of him, then you need to find someone that will appreciate you."

and now I'm crying for a different reason... because someone actually does love me. so I sniffle and murmur a thank you, kissing the younger lad on the cheek and heading to my bedroom with a closed mind and a heavy heart.

but when luke crawls into my bed that night and wraps his arms around me, I don't fight it.

I realize that I'm not that unhappy with our fucked up friendship.

because I could live without him, but without him I'd be miserable at best.


End file.
